Fickle Hysteria

It better be a good one! HUGS

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:55:58 GMT

All jumbled up

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:28:01 GMT

This picture sums up my weekend:

Kiefer Sutherland`s face mask that Enkya and I got to see at the Ripley`s Believe or Not Wax Museum near Niagara Falls.  Particularly appropriate since we finished season 7 of 24 the day before :D  Bring on season 8, where Jack Bauer becomes a Muslim Grandpa.    I did enjoy this season a lot. Not as much as season 5 (I LOVE SEASON FIVE), but I liked a lot of the new characters, especially Larry. LARRY!

The return of Kim - well done. I like her scene with her reconnecting with her father and she pretty cool getting the laptop out of the burning car.

The return of Bill and Chloe - Those two rock.   Aw, Bill!

The return of Tony Almeida - proving once again that Jack > Tony IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AGAIN.

I'd like to be less insane ranty about things on my livejournal, which is going to be difficult. Getting all worked up and judgemental and preachy is second nature to me, but I am going to try to listen more. Be less defensive when someone corrects me. And I`ll definitely will make a conscious effort to not praise a character, series, or OTP by bringing down another one. Their merits should be enough that they don`t need to be propped by belittling others.<-- Augh! But I enjoy doing that so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAI!

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 13:00:39 GMT

Feels like this year is going to be the start of something new and exciting for you ^___^ I hope it all works and you have a fantastic time *hugs*

I've been catching up on the CBC podcast series called The Current that I sometimes rant about, and WOW, some of those stories are just astonishing. The two that blew me away today was 15/09/09: Story of a Kenyan Whistleblower and 24/06/09: North Korean Defector - Sun Mu. The corruption in the first one, and the courage to stand up to that corruption, both amazed me. Plus all the complexities of different ethnic groups, of distributing information and the dangers involved in making the truth known, even escaping from officials who followed someone to another country. Nothing I've read or watched has come up with that amount of depth. Frith, wait until you hear the meaning behind the phrase "it's our turn to eat."

I doubt Tom Clancy or 24 could come up with a more exciting story.

By comparison, Sun Mu's story was probably on a smaller scale and more personal, but I was moved by his depiction of North Korea and amazed at how he become a propaganda painter and later escaped the country. When he was out of North Korea, he began to use his artistic skills to bring awareness of the dictatorship there. The thing that got me was that he left behind family in North Korea, and to protect them, he changed his name and they have no idea that he's the one whose been making those anti-Kim Jong-il paintings. That stunned me.

Remember how I said I normally don't like women with codependency issues?

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:40:42 GMT

Well, apparently I lied

I almost tempted to say I have a thing for women with codependency issues, but it's only Scully and Hawkeye so it's not a big list of women, and I got over Scully fast. (Okay fine, I had a GIGANTIC CRUSH on Scully for three years before I realized she was a jerk to pretty much everyone and while I still like her, I haven't regained any of my former ardor for her since.)

Yes, I realize that the word codependent probably isn't the right word to describe Hawkeye's devotion to Mustang since he's not really addicted to anything (he may be over ambitious, but I wouldn't say addicted by any definition of the word), but Hawkeye is psychologically dependent on him, and I couldn't think of a better word. If anyone knows one, please let me know.

Weirdly enough, Hawkeye's dependance on Mustang is actually one of the things I, well not like, but I find it interesting about her. As stated before, Hawkeye is my favorite character from Fullmetal Alchemist (or she's tied with Izumi and Olivia Armstrong for first place - I *heart* my FMA women.) I like that she's both a total badass in the field and a genuinely nice caring person elsewhere. I love that she yells at the Colonel and she has this wry sense of humour that's just adorable. She's devastatingly hot when she shots at things. I'm smitten every time she's on the page.

I didn't catch the dependency thing until Chapter 39, believing it to be loyalty. I'm a sucker for loyalty. It was the thing that made me go bonkers over Bigwig and the main reason why I like the relationship between Hitsugaya and Matsumoto so much. That Hawkeye had Mustang's back (and vice versa) was one of the things that made me like her so much. And then I got to chapter 39 and it was all, "OH."

She's not devoted to him and his mission. She's devoted to him.

Vol. 15 strengthened that point and Chapter 95 nailed it home.

I was annoyed at first because women whose whole entire worlds revolve around one man seems like such a tired cliche (yeah, I was getting a little sick of it from all the female companions on new Doctor Who), but then I came to realize that Riza Hawkeye is a mass of contradictions that all work seamlessly in the end and that I found that fascinating. She was was a killer in the Ishval war but that fact doesn't jar with her current quest to make Amestris a more tolerant, peaceful country. She says she will not hesitate to pull the trigger to protect Mustang but she's still (for the most part) a calm, rational person with good morals who tries to do the right thing. Her world revolves around Mustang, but she's not blind to his flaws nor does she take everything he says at face value. She's his voice of reason and she's more than able to argue with him and put him in his place. When you come down to it, that's probably why her dependency works so well. She's clear-sighted about it.

When I was trying to figure out my thoughts on this codependency thing, I kept thinking how much the relationship between Hawkeye and Mustang was like the relationship between Mulder and Scully way back in the X-Files days. Mustang is the centre of Hawkeye's world and her life is his mission, very much like how Mulder became the centre of Scully's world and his quest to find what happened to his sister took over Scully's life. The big difference between the two is that Hawkeye chose that path right from the beginning. I got the feeling that Scully was swept up by Mulder's mission and kind of lost control over it (and Mulder was oblivious to all this). Hawkeye, in my opinion, is in control of every decision she makes and she consciously and deliberately chooses to do whatever it takes to protect Mustang. I also think Mustang is aware of just central to her world he is. One question in Chapter 95 convinces me of that. I was struck that he asked Hawkeye what she would do after he died. He must have at least known the answer she did give him a possibility.

Hawkeye's devotion to Mustang crosses the line to dependency, but I admire that they're both aware of it, and that Hawkeye was clear-sighted and understood the cost when she chose this route.

ETA: I mucked it up. The line, "She's not devoted to him and his mission. She's devoted to him" should actually say something like, "She's not only devoted to him and his mission. She can't live without him." ~~Not an earth shattering difference, but an important one, I believe, that gives needed weight to the dependency argument.~~

ETA 2 w/ strike-out:AUGH! STOP CONTINUING TO SCREW UP YOUR OWN ARGUMENTS, YOU IDIOT! It makes a big difference. Not being able to survive without someone is on different plane than being totally devoted to him. Not that it makes my love for her any less fervent. Hawkeye kick ass, codependency or not. I'm even now thinking it's making her character more interesting because it's yet another thing like her role in Ishval that seems contradictory yet it doesn't jar. She's a fascinating, grey "good guy" and Frith, I really need to stop messing up this post on my favorite character.

Before I forget

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:24:15 GMT

Squidgeesushi sounds adorable on the phone. I love her accent! <3

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 22:50:44 GMT

Back from a very nice weekend spent at Essjayvee's and my brother's place. My sister-in-law and the baby were back from their overseas trip and seeing my little niece again was euphoric. I got to talk to Squidgeesushi on the phone, which was excellent! (Can't wait to see you!) And I got to see Arnold Schwarzenegger punch a camel, so it was a good weekend all around.

I did my grocceries when I got home, took out the garbage, prepared dinner for the week, cleaned up my room, and did a load of laundry. Go me. Now to reward myself by spending the rest of the evening doing something I've been dying to do since Friday -- read a crapload of FMA smut fics.

You've seen this before, but not with the buttons

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:23:00 GMT

Baby booties for one of my coworkers whose wife is pregnant. The buttons were made from hairclips. I simply tored the animal off the clip part and sewed them to the booties.

The elepant

and the monkey

Since I only had two of each animal and four straps that needed buttons, I hoped a monkey/elephant pair on each shoe would worked and I think it looks pretty good. The booties were done months ago, which is a very good thing. I haven't touched a knitting needle in weeks. CTS and general knitter's apathy. I need to kick myself in gear. There's a bunch of projects that are way past their due date that I need to finish.

Oh yeah, before I forget, I finally got a Ravelry account. If anyone is on Ravelry, I'm ficklehysteria. I haven't done anything on the account yet. Hopefully next week. Around the same time I better be filling out my passpart applications (I got the applications at least) and looking for a driving school and finishing off knitting projects.

I've been waking up before my alarm clock goes off all week and have been surprisingly alert and focused at work. I've even been making and taking breakfasts and lunches to work (and saving a remarkable amount of money) and going to go the gym during my lunch hour. Guess the energy and productivity could only last so long though. I crashed when I got home today and I'm still tired. Though the tiredness could be from the fact that I've been up at 6AM all week (I am NOT kidding) and my body is finally getting age-appropriate with bedtimes and waking-up times. I'm usually wide awake in the evenings and find it impossible to fall asleep before midnight. It's actually a good thing that I'm tired at this time. May this mean I'm wide awake again at 6 in the morning.

Yay becoming an old lady *waves flags*

FMA Fanfic rec: Travelling Incognito by Roseveare

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:18:16 GMT

If you're going into Fullmetal Alchemist withdrawal like I've been since I read the last published chapter (been iffy with how things have been going lately -- more about that after I sort out how I feel about certain developments) go read Travelling Incognito.

Hell, you don't even have to be in FMA withdrawal mode. There's no spoilers for anything past the first few manga volumes (if even that). It takes one of the earlier storylines at the start of the series of Ed and Al using their alchemy to help people and looks at it in a different way without changing anything of the formula. And still manages to say so much about the characters and the situation. It's extremely well-done, and captures the feeling of its manga, right down to the action sequences. Go read it.

(BTW, I also like Roseveare's more crackier fics too. "Theatre of the Absurd" is still one of my all-time favorite Angel fics.)

Just in case anything happens to her

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:31:34 GMT

I want to take this chance to declare my love to Olivia Mira Armstrong while she's kicking butt left right front and centre.

OH MY GOD, BUT DO YOU ROCK WOMAN.

She alone is enough reason for why the manga pwns the anime. Actually she alone is enough reason for why the Fullmetal Alchemist manga pwns all the mangas I've read before this and all the anime I've seen. I am so in love with her.

People who say you feel no pain in dreams are LYING

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:11:20 GMT

Ever have a dream that's a continuation of dream you had before? I forgot about this dream I had weeks ago where I ate something, went to the hospital to check out my stomach, was told everything was fine, and then I went home and proceeded to eat a tabletop full of books and paper.

Well last night I had PART 2 of that dream. It went something like this:

*I go to the hospital
*For some reason I forgot I went to get my stomach checked
*The doctors look at me and say, "oh, her fluids are black" and then I hear, "she ate ___ tonnes of books and papers."
*I end up on an operating table with an incision on my right side. I'm glad the dream was kind enough to skip the act of the doctor cutting an incision in me because I found out later on they didn't bother using any anesthestics. I know this for a fact because they then proceeded to remove a piece of paper out me like this:

The purple square is the piece of paper they removed. It was intact and unwrinkled and they tugged it out the same way you tug out a piece of paper that's coming out of the printer but jams halfway. I felt every millimetre that the paper was being removed from my body.

And as they tugged it out of my body, the sharp sides of the paper, you know the ones that causes paper cuts if you run your finger along it at a certain angle, rubbed against both ends of my incision, and HOLY HELL THAT SMARTED. I lost my ability to breathe properly, all my nerves were jolting, and then I woke up because it was too much for me. Even after I woke up nerves at my right side were still flinching and I was breathing heavily the way you do after you lose your breath when something painful is inflicted on you. I put my hand on where the incision would have been told myself that if there is a part 3 of this dream, they better use anesthetics this time. Or better yet, it starts off with the doctor saying, "Ah, you're awake now. Everything went well. We got all the books and paper out of you and you're all sewn up."

Gah.

print vs. screen versions

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 02:33:38 GMT

nbsp;

I'm still on episode 6 of Trigun, which I haven't finished, and I'm absolutely flabbergasted. I remember it being better than it is right now. I'm thinking it's going to pick up soon and then I'll a pull a 30 Rock where I can't stop watching it. Right now, I'm watching Trigun and wishing they'd hurry the scenes up and get to the point.

It's also the same problem I had with trying to watch the screen versions of Legend of the Condor Heroes. I told myself I was going to watch ALL the versions and compare them. Pfft, I think I got about two episodes in for most of them and lost my patience. It was moving too slow for my taste, which is weird when you consider that the damn story is over a thousand pages long and it took me longer to read it than it probably would for me to watch the series. (Well, there's also the thing that Legend of the Condor Heroes the book is SUBLIME BEYOND COMPREHENSION and for some unknown reason most of the series feel the need to play around with plot points and change integral character traits that drove me insane, Why mess with perfection? I don't mind people changing the story on the screens, but when the changes only make the characters more annoying and the plot points more repetitive or inconsistent, don't bother. Oh, and I can tell you the 1982 version had no sharks being killed by kung-fu *FUMES*)

I'm reading The Fullmetal Alchemist manga and it's hitting me hard how much better it is than the anime. And I thought the anime was perfection. I still consider the anime one of the best animes I've ever seen (Haibane Renmei is the only one I think is better), but boy, the characters in the manga are so much well-wounded. Izumi, Roy, and Hawkeye are particularly better in manga form. I was surprised at how vulnerable Hawkeye actually is, which makes the fact that she's so efficient at her job and able to hold herself together for the most part more fascinating. Roy is more mature and focused and more likable. It's funny with Izumi because I loved her in the anime for how hardcore she was, but I never realized how one dimensional "angsty" she actually was until I saw her in the manga. She's more interesting, complicated and terrifying in the manga, and hell of a lot more funnier. I definitely preferred her storyline here than the one in the anime. That was OOC. There's no way Izumi in the manga would have rejected (SPOILERS!) like that. She would have looked at her mistake full on in the face and taken responsibility for it.

The plot is certainly better. Admittedly, I don't remember much of the anime plot. It was one of those animes where afterwards I praised it to the sky and called it smart smart smart but then realized I couldn't explain half of what went on. The plot flows better in the manga. It took out a lot of the unnecessary angst that was in the anime and kept the story streamlined so the events kept unfolding but it always snuck in moments of interaction and I'll just say "reflections" for a lack of a better term that made me cry harder than any of the angst in the anime did.

Two other mangas that were better than the anime, Tsubasa and X. I read the manga first in both cases and loved them, and was excited to watch the animes. Yeah, CLAMP doesn't translate well into anime. X wasn't too bad, but Tsubasa was a snorefest. I remember kept wish there was a way I could fast forward through it without losing the audio. What it mostly was though was it lacked the energy and high spirits of the manga.

Bleach actually worked well in both format I found. I did prefer the manga but only a little bit. The anime was fine. They kept the characters intact, they definitely kept the humour and the energy, and the pacing was perfect. I whipped through episodes not only once, but several time. I got bored of the anime around the same time I got bored with the manga, so clearly the screen adaptation worked.

Watership Down is another one that worked well in both format. The movie cut a lot of what I love about the book - the humour, the sense of comradeship amoung the rabbits, Bigwig's warmth under his bullheadedness, Bluebell - but the changes made sense, and the movie got the spirit of the book dead on. It also haunted me the same way the book did, which is good enough for me. I love that movie.

The only way I can take Howl's Moving Castle the anime in comparison to the book is to treat them as two TOTALLY different stories. Miyazaki's movie as an adaptation of Diana Wynne-Jone's fantastic book is atrocious. On its own though it's a whimsical and dreamy Japanese treat (as opposed to the book being a sharp and British witty delight.)

I can't think of any screen adaptations that I liked better than the print version off the top of my head (I'll think of something two mintues after I shut down my computer, I know it), but Connie told me that Death Note was better in anime form than in manga, and I believe her.

Now I'm curious if anyone else has opinions of certain print vs. screen adaptation of a story.</p>ETA: It just came to me! Harry Potter 2 was better than the book. I'm going to creamed for this one, but I also liked Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire better in movie format than in book but that's because *prepares to duck* I didn't like the book that much *runs far far away*

I'm going to be a jerk and use the various different spelling of the characters' name interchangably

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:02:52 GMT

Greeling: What's with you and red?
Ed: It's a badass tough guy color. Gets the blood going.

WAH! I LOVE YOU ED!

Hey, anyone else slashing Greeling (who shall henceforth be called Ling) and Ed? Because I TOTALLY AM!  *selfthwap* I mean -- *selfthwaps herself harder* ULTIMATE!BROMANCE FTW!

.

HA!

If they ever do a Fullmetal Alchemist live action movie, I'm voting for this guy to be Ling:

Picture taken from this thread on Asianfanatics

I saw Li Jie in Xiao Ao Jiang Hu and thought he was spectacular as Lin Pingzhi. (According to the AF thread, he's apparently one the best things about Legend of the Condor Heroes as well).   I had thought Li Jie would make a terrific Prince Ling right from the get-go, and then I got to chapter 54, where Prince Ling went through a damn-near Lin Pingzhi moment and I was all, "OMG, MEANT TO BE!" He is perfect for Ling.

Other notes of randomness concerning FMA:

I love Envy. He's one of the few truly callous characters I know. I can't remember another character who's that removed from empathy or caring for anyone, and I love how he does not censor or hold back anyhing.

Wow, Winry's journey was more painful in the manga than I would have expected it to be. I think she's amazing, and it's refreshing to have a female character that kicks ass even without fighting capabilities and superpowers (not that having fighting capabilities and superpowers in any way takes away from the sheer awesomeness of the female characters who do.)

Doctor Marco, you're the man!   I REALLY love the secondary characters in this series. I mean, HOVAC <3

My FMA OTP (note P is for pairing, NOT couple) is May Chang and Scar. I am endlessly amused by them.

Ending with a Gluttony moment because I love this dude.  Look at him. His face when you tell him he can eat someone is EXACTLY like mine when you tell me that I can have that slice of cake :D

and he looks just like me when we're told we can't have our deserts after all.

.

D'aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwhhhhh!

Just finished volume 15

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:25:44 GMT

That hurt.

GLUTTONY! I WUVS YOU!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:40:35 GMT

Good lord, I would never have thought that I would like Gluttony after the anime. I found him DISGUSTING. Every time he was on screen I wanted to throw up. He gave me the creeps, that freak.

So imagine my surprise when I started reading the FMA mangas and I started finding the guy kind of cute, and then eventually super adorable. I want to give him a hug so badly. He's basically an overgrown baby who doesn't know better. AWWWWWW! *GLOMPS* And his reaction when Lust died made me want to pick him and comfort him and kiss it all better. He looked so sad and lost there. It broke my heart.

I've lost count how many time I'd turn the page and start screaming/squealing, "GLUTTONY! YOU'RE TOO CUTE!" and pound the manga against the wall. Then I'd daydream of meeting Gluttony in person and crushing him to me until his bones break and biting huge chunks out of him and pounding him into a big sweet squishy puddle. He'd probably start salivating at the prospect of ripping me to bits and getting his lips all greasy with my mush and fluids while he chews on me, because, you know, he's Gluttony and eating people is almost his entire repertoire. We'd probably get into some big snarl of teeth and fingers ripping at each other.

But in the end, if it comes to his insatiable need to consume me versus my overwhelming need to release the energy that cute objects produces in me,

I'd put my money on me.

(Yes, I'm aware there are far nastier pictures of him looking actually fearsome in the manga that would have been more appropriate to use, but that one made me want to punch his face and then pound his head against the pavement so I decided to go with it. Just be glad I couldn't, for spoilers reason, use

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI! *bangs fist against wall*

Good night!

ETA: I am so glad my baby niece is coming back from Korea this week. Over four months of cute deprivation is taking its toll on me *twitchy eyes*

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 20:07:04 GMT

Number #1

Number # 2

Number #3 (and the one that made me trip off my bed)

*THUD!*

I foresee much capslocking in the future as I continue to go through the FMA mangas

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:13:54 GMT

My reaction to the first half of Volume 5:

EEK! WINRY! YOU ROCK ON EVERY SINGLE LEVEL POSSIBLE! *HEARTS**HEARTS**HEARTS*

I especially loved her on page 91. It reminded me a little of Huang Rong in Legend of the Condor Heroes when she finally met the Southern Emperor. Such a human reaction after having experience a extraordinary crisis. Aw <3

My reaction to the second half of the Volume 5:

IZUMI

@#$U&Y%&@#!!!

@#$U&Y%&@#!!!

@#$U&Y%&@#!!!

There are no words to describe how much I love that woman. I have to speak in expletive representative symbols. I love how she meets the terror of her students, but there are things she gets so well, and then there are things she doesn't.

Volume 5 of FMA kicked butt. I love this series to death (yes I did see the anime. It actually makes reading the manga more enjoyable because I know what's going to happen or what the backstory is so I'm reading extra meaning in all the dialogue and events.)

I borrowed 6 more volumes of the manga today from the public library. I went to pick it up branch near my workplace, which also doubles as a high school library since it's located inside a high school. As I approached the circulation desk, the clerk told me to check my books out at the school side. I was confused because I always checked my books out at the circulation desk facing the exit. I turned around and started to head off to the desk at the school's entrance, thinking that maybe they were updating their computer there so all circulation was done at the other desk, when it hit me. I twirled around and put my books on the counter and said loudly, "I'm not a student here."

"YOU'RE NOT!?"

Heh, I rather enjoyed the shock on her face. She told me I would appreciate my youthful looks in 30 years when gravity takes its course :D

Honestly, I don't look like a teenager. I do look younger than I am, but no way could I pass as a high school student. I think it was the mangas in my hands that made me look like one, but I'll take the compliment.

MSN chat with Connie

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 01:00:25 GMT

awe inspiring army says:
and shove it into my heart
and pound it into pulp before I shove it into my heart
okay, I'm done
how are you doing?
Connie connie connie connie connie connie connie Connie connie connie connie connie connie connie Connie connie connie connie connie connie connie Connie connie connie connie connie connie connie
Connie
Connie
C
o
n
n
i
e
Einnoc - Oooh, I like your name spelled backwards
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
...
D= Einnoc sounds retarded though!
awe inspiring army says:
Blasphemy!
It's a beautiful name
It sounds Biblical
Like before the Flood
I see Einnoc building an art
and living to be 876 years old
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
o__o
awe inspiring army says:
It's the perfect name for a white beard old dude
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
xDDDDDDDD
awe inspiring army says:
who owns one thousand sheep
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
lol
and has this freaking crazy amount of children, no matter how old he is.
awe inspiring army says:
YES!
and two wives!
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
LOL
awe inspiring army says:
plus the sheep
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
D8 i wonder if all the sheep would count as....concubines.
awe inspiring army says:
No, you silly moose
They're his drinking buddies
He gets drunk with them all
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
bahaha xD
awe inspiring army says:
and then they plan on how to smite the neighbouring tents
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
o__o now the sheeps are scheming?
D= scheming sheeps?!
xD the neighbors are screwed.
awe inspiring army says:
EXCEPT!
the neighbours have llamas
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
OH SH-
awe inspiring army says:
I know
What will happen?
You have to read Genesis 197 to find out
(Genesis 197 was one of those missing chapters )
(It got lost after the flood)
(along with Genesis 198, which is the story about the Llama that tried to make apples out of salmons but that ended up with a drought throughout the land.)
(And Llamas then lost their ability to speak)
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
.___________.
awe inspiring army says:
(Which is why you don't meet any talking llamas)
CONNIE, DO YOU EVER WONDER HOW YOU WOULD KNOW ANYTHING WITH ME?
WITHOUT ME, i MEAN?
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
LOL WUT? XDDD
awe inspiring army says:
Look at the information I give you!
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
*brain explodess* xD
awe inspiring army says:
I believe in educating my nieces
If you jump out of a window at on the 17th floor between 1-2a.m. you can land on your feet
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
FF- YESSS *taking notes* xDD
awe inspiring army says:
The things you know because of ME
I shall talk to you later, Einnoc
(pronouced, I Knock)
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
Dx Einnoc...nuuuuuuuuuuuu
0_o;;
awe inspiring army says:
I see a joke in there somewhere
What's your name?
Einnoc
You knock what?
Einnoc doors!
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
....
awe inspiring army says:
!
I love it!
miss knit - (still mourning over Mikage) says:
OMG *kills you*

I think Alex Louis Armstrong is my long lost twin brother (possible spoilers for FMA)

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:13:04 GMT

THAT IS TOTALLY ME READING THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST MANGA!

OVERCOMED WITH EMOTION.

MOVED TO TEARS

(or I'm banging my bed howling because Edward/Alphonse/cat is the funniest thing ever.  Or Scar colliding with Gluttony, which isn't actually funny but the idea of those two in a fight together amused me so much that I was howling anyways.)

If I were ever meet Edward Elric, I would crush him to my bosom.  CRUSH HIM!   He's the perfect combination of hot temper and big heart, like Bigwig and Renji.  BULLHEADEDNESS FTW.

I love the characters of this manga so much. Not just the major ones like Al and Scar and Roy and Armstrong (ARMSTRONG, YOU LOVABLE OAF!), but the more minor ones like Second Lieutenant Ross and Sergeant Brosh. So much love in their direction.

Oh Envy, I missed you and your sports bra <3  (Oh, and the picture Ed drew of Envy in his notepad -- WIN WIN WIN)

Sheska, you're so... so... LEGEND OF THE CONDOR HEROES!

OH-EM-GEE THE AMOUNT OF PLOTSY STUFF THAT GOES ON IN JUST THE FIRST FOUR CHAPTERS! Murder, civil war, secrets written in codes, military conspiracy, religion, sacrifices, scientific research (ooooooh Scientfic Research!) and ALL SORTS OF PRETTY EXPLOSIONS!  Things go POW! I like it when things go POW! Things should go POW! more often. (I am now going to put some mentos in a bottle of diet coke.)

Of course, HUGHES! HUGHES! HUGHES!  !!!! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHES!!!!  <3<3<3

I refuse to be coherent about my love for this manga.

Another thing I got from Pixar's UP

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:53:01 GMT

One of the things I respected so much about the movie was that after (what I believe was) a miscarriage followed by infertility, Carl and Ellie were still able to live a happy and love-filled life together. Their lives together was not empty because they had no babies. It was not meaningless, pointless, or horrible. I'm sure the pain of not having children haunted them on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, and perhaps when they saw other people with their children, but it didn’t define their relationship or their life. Their enormous love for each other did. The montage of their relationship was to me, one of the most achingly beautiful 20 minutes of life shown on screen I’ve ever seen.

I still think about it, and it still makes me misty-eyed. I love those twenty minutes so much.

It also flies counter to a lot of what society believes the attitude to infertility should be today. Infertility is a horrible disease that needs to be cured, either with IVF, egg/sperm donations, surrogacy, and adoption. If you want a child, you CANNOT be childless for that is the most horrible thing on the planet and you won’t be able to function because you’ll be surrounded by people who have their own children and that will drive you crazy and IT ISN’T FAIR so you must fight it and get your baby to avoid this barren life time of bitterness and incompleteness.

I was talking to my sister about my views on adoption and she said she thinks one of the problems of today is that there’s too many options for infertile people. In the past, people had no choice but to accept their infertility and move on. Now people believe they’re entitled to a baby, and they get all their hopes up and deplete their savings and mortgage their time and soul and everything into it, and when failures happen they literally go crazy and can’t take no as an answer. There’s this whole baby lust I’ve noticed around me that’s turning children into commodities and I find it alarming. But that’s not the saddest thing about all this entitlement attitude to me. The saddest thing to me is that these people can’t see that it is possible to live a fulfilled and good life even without your heart’s desire. Life can be still beautiful. Look at Carl and Ellie.

I know, what do I know about infertility and how painful it is. I don’t want children and I can’t understand how heartbreaking it is to dream of being a parent and then realize one day that this simple biological process that comes so easily and frequently to other people was denied to one person.

In a way I can understand that because for some dumbass reason, I started wanting to be an relationship when I turned 29. Actually, it was halfway through 28 that I started dreaming of having a partner, but 29 was when I realized I was getting close to 30 and then it really hit me. Biology has nasty surprises in store for us all. I was happy being single and unattached before this and then I suddenly want to be held. Good Lord, I hate biology and the human need to be touched. Anyways, it was getting so bad that I was getting jealous of my friends who were making plans to get married or have children, even though I still don’t want marriage and kids. I think what really got me to though, was that they were becoming mature, complete grown-ups, and I was to remain this embryonic ugly duckling who would never blossom into the full-grown swan or whatever bullshit was going through my mind at that time (to take a sentiment off what a lot of women who can't conceive say, I feel not like a real women.)

And yes, I did say, “this is unfair" more than once.

But then I would hang around my best friend, or Enkya (who btw, kicks so much ass), or Essjayvee, or my nieces, and I would remember that my life ROCKS. There’s a lot of love in my life, and lot of amazing people and TV shows and places that I visit (shut up, Montreal is exotic to me), and I’m part of a culture that’s 5000 years ago with has sharks that get killed with kung-fu, and all that things eclipses the partner thing so hard. I haven’t even gotten to the part where I had one absolutely amazing person from down under come visit me, and this summer another absolutely amazing person from down under is also meeting up with me. That’s incredible. There’s just so many incredible and lovely things in my life that there’s no way I can say my life is empty or pointless without a partner (even if my mother is convinced it is ;D). It so isn’t.

I will admit that for a while there, I did feel entitled to a partner. Iprobably will feel this way several times again in the future. I'll get jealous and bitch that life is unfair and ask why do other people have someone and I don't, blah blah blah. But I will do my best not to let it take over me and move on past that. I don't want to fall into today's thinking that something is owed to me, be it a partner or a baby or an amazing job. I hope I have the grace that Carl and Ellie did to come to terms with their loss and still find love and happiness afterwards.

I think we can all do with more grace.

It's my unbirthday today

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:31:37 GMT

A very merry unbirthday to me,
To me,
A very merry unbirthday to me,
To me,
It's great to drink to someone ,
And I guess that you will do,
A very merry unbirthday to me!

*TOSS CONFETTI*

Now to go around wishing a Merry Unbirthday to my friends who share this Unbirthday with me. Wow. There's a lot of you. What a small world this is.

I tripped over myself

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 01:04:27 GMT

and you will too when you watch this video O.o

Wow. Just, wow.

I don't even know what kind of warning to give. Any idea, anyone?

If you enjoyed that, be sure to check out the next one.

I apologize in advance for any braincells that were lost in the watching of this video.

ETA: Been watching more Axis Powers Hetalia. THE CHIBI FORMS OF THE COUNRTIES AT THE ENDING SONGS ARE SO CUTE! I want to pinch their cheeks and tousle their hair and stuff them into a blender and pound them into a paste. Especially Russia. He wears a scarf. A SCARF! THAT'S RIDICULOUSLY CUTE! *smashes him* Wow, my baby niece better get back here soon. I haven't gnawed on anything cute in over three months, and the cute deprivation is starting to get to me.

Oh, and I love the line, "I decided to clean my shed on a whim and it brought back some old memories." That's gold.

ETA 2: Up to episode 18 of APH. OH-EM-GEE, I LOVE THE CHARACTERS! I do rather wish the series didn't take place during WWII. Maybe some UN type setting instead. The stereotypes would still be Holy God Offensive! but the setting and the relationship between the countries would be far less loaded. It still works as it is, they really are wickedly lovable.

Take that, fatigue!

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:54:06 GMT

I HAVE FLOORS AGAIN! FLOORS!

It's amazing. I open the door to my room, and I no longer see a tidal wave of clothes, old towels, books, receipts, paper, and cereal boxes. I see this white expense of linoleum. Linoleum floors, people, I have white linoleum floors. I want to throw myself onto this floor and bury my face in it and hug it to me and whispers sweet nothings into its ears and I HAVE FLOORS AGAIN!

Yes, suckers, I cleaned up my room. I did two loads of laundry. I did all my dishes. I'm even writing some belated snail mail. Bow to my cleaning awesomeness. I even have plans to scrub the toilet this weekend.

I've been watching 30 Rock as I clean, and that show is even funnier the fourth time around. I am a nerd! And yes, I am going to start saying, "By the power of Thor." YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

I've also been watching Axis Powers Hetalia, to which I say HOLY GOD OFFENSIVE! But at the same time, I called my nieces after the first 9 or 10 episodes and started squealing about how adorable Italy and Russia were and how endlessly amused I am by the Germany/Japan bromance and how much I adore that theme song and have been singing it nonstop all day and -- Great Nanny Goats, did the Japanese actually make an anime about the axis powers of world war two? Japan made anime about the axis powers...

I'm just trying to imagine Germany coming up with something like that. Imagine it making something like Springtime for Hitler and Germany, which I'm assuming was thought up by someone with Allies association (correct me if I'm wrong). Oh yes, this is totally like like the N word, where it's all right for some races to use it and other races not to. Japan with its role in the second world war doing a show like Hetalia, just wow.

I actually don't have much problem with the show itself, or rather, I do realize it's offensive and problematic, but the stereotypes don't bug me. I know I've said it here a couple of times already that stereotypes generally don't offend me. You want to show Chinese people eating springrolls, whatever, I'm Chinese and I eat springroll. As long as Chinese isn't just whittled down to just someone who eats springroll, I'm fine. I'm more offended by people of colours being poorly treated and expected to be grateful for breadcrumbs and becoming the white person's emotional/physical/psychological punching bag.

That said, I totally understand why South Korea would be angry with the show. I don't agree with their demand that the show be cancelled and do think the congresswoman in the youtube video I linked was overreacting a little, but I do see her points and believe she has valid reasons to be upset. I'm also very annoyed at a lot of the comments direct at South Korea on youtube and elsewhere. Comments like "Stupid Korea", and "Korea over-reacts too much and they all need to shut up just for once," and "Those Koreans need to get a fucking life", and saying that Korea is "“hypersensitive and whiny as if you’re going to die tomorrow”. Not cool.

Yes, I know it's a "just a cartoon" (because cartoons are never racist or offensive) and there's no malicious intent, but race and ethnic identity is a sensitive issue, and the World Wars were a turbulent time in history (to say the least) and not that long ago, so I can see why there would be contraversy about this particular show. Hell, I'm kind of surprised the people making those comments didn't expect contraversy with the show and that some people would be offended. I'm still embarrassed by how much I like this show.

Anyways, two comments I had to address:

I can’t believe that Korea still can’t get over their past with Japan.

WWII wasn't that long ago. The Armenian genocide took place about a hundred years ago, before WWII, and I know Armenians who still hate the Turks.

Plus Japan not apologizing or acknowledging their role in the second world war isn't endearing them to Korea or China for that matter. Germany, bless its soul, has done everything it could to make up for its past. Japan, not so much. I can see how Hetalia would be salt in the wound for the Koreans.

From the last youtube video I linked, there was one line that made me go O.o! For these protesters to randomly act like they were personally affected by the events of world war two, sorry no, don't really see that.

SRLY?

Randomly act, huh. Like they suddenly decided one day that WWII did happen and maybe they did go through some trials then.

Okay, maybe they themselves weren't personally affected, but trust me, their parents or grandparents were affected by it. I heard what Japan did to Korea was worst than what they did to China and what they did to the Chinese was fucking horrific. You can still get the blood to boil in my family just by mentioning the Japanese in World War II and I have Chinese friends who have brothers that told them that if they ever marry a Japanese guy, they will beat the shit out of him. Hell, I had a heated argument with my brother the other day because he thinks that since China now has the technology and power they should bomb Japan back to the stone age and was flabbergasted that I disagreed with him. I'm not kidding. The guy seriously thought I was going to clap my hands and tell him what a great idea that was. It was insane, but you have to remember the Japanese were vicious. As in, "HOLY SHIT!"-sized large scale rape, brutality, torture, and abuse. I hate to say it, but it's a shame the Holocaust took all the spotlight during WWII (not that we could ever acknowledge the evils of the Holocaust enough), because the suffering and misery on the other side of the world was enormous and should be remembered as well.

To end off, my attitude to Axis Powers Hetalia is the same one I have towards "Springtime for Hitler and Germany." I LOVE that song so very much, but if a Jewish person came up to me and told me that s/he found it offensive and made light of a tragedy that affected his/her family, I would respect that person and that comment and understand the reasoning behind it. I may even stop watching it for his or her sake, but if I don't (chances are I won't), I'll be aware of the issues and contraversy surrounding it and remember that it is not just a harmless piece of entertainment that shouldn't be taken seriously.

Pixar's "Up" (possible spoilers)

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:40:52 GMT

The movie is going to mean different things to different people. What it meant to me was going on despite the original plan not being what it was and despite loss.

You have no idea how badly I wanted Ellie to be there, though I probably didn't want her there as badly as Carl did. That had to hurt, finally completing a dream but the soul of the dream wasn't there to share it with you. There are no words for the kind of longing that must weigh on the heart.

But there's still meaning afterwards. Life goes on, there are people to meet, events to experience, decisions to act upon, dreams to fulfill, even if the fulfillment of all those things are bittersweet because parts of you are missing and it wasn't how it was supposed to be. There's still love at the end, the old love that never dies and the new love that you don't expect.

(How I love that kid and the talking dog!)

That's the one thing I hope I can learn from Carl's adventure -- if when I get to a point where I think my story ends here and that there is no more to life, to keep going despite the loss and disappointment, because there may be more to come. A hell of a lot more.

I think it's seasonal

Fri, 29 May 2009 01:55:23 GMT

There is some good news.

1. I'm catching it early, as opposed to last year where the fatigue hit around this time and I was so thrown back by it I threw a tantrum every other day or so (with crashes of depression inbetween.)

2. I'm living closer to work so I don't have to get up as early.

3. I'm not living with family so I don't have to worry about dealing with stressful family members.

4. I'm determined to not let this get to me this time around, even if that means, ironically, letting it get to me and wallowing in the fatigue and depression instead of trying to fight it all the time and exhausting myself even more. I'll pick up the knitting needles or a book eventually. No point in freaking out over my lack of energy before that.

Today was not a great day at work. I've been having too many "write-off" days, and I need to get my concentration back on track, somehow without freaking out about the lack of concentration. Last year taught me that freaking out over the sleepiness, the bodily aches, and the exhaustion only made everything worse. I'm trying not to stress out, which unfortunately is the only thing I'm apparently not too tired to do -_- I'm hoping to be more in control of it this year. I've seens hints of last year's depressive crashes and I really don't want to go there again.

I also want to see if I could scale back my religion angst. There are some Christians on my flist are just wonderful people and even though it's God and the religion in general I have problems with and not them (it's so not them, they're great), I feel bad for bashing the things they believe in. Plus I'm almost 30. It's probably time for me to make some peace with it. I looked into a LJ community for ex-christians, but it kind of reminded me of those childfree communities I used to be a part of and then left in disgust. The childfree communnity was all about bashing children, and I like children, and bashing bad parents, and most parents I know are pretty good. Okay, I bitch about children and bad parents too, and I don't mind an occasional post on that, but when every post is about all bash bash bash hate hate hate, it's annoying. I wanted support and commiseration and discussions, not constant bitching about people who bring their kids to the movie (I always brought my nieces to the movie.)

I'll have to look into that ex-Christian community again. I hope it's not all bashing and ranting and hate. I know, I do lots of that myself, but I don't think it's healthy, and it would be nice to be in a community that's trying to get to some resolution instead of just perpetuating the hate. That, btw, is one of the reason I love Moral Orel. It's actually trying to deal with issues and come to some sort of understanding. It's not about bashing or hating on Christianity; it's trying make sense of a lot of the hypocrisy and pain that comes with religion.

Whoa, I'm knackered. Heading off to bed, still frustrated about my job performance and the fatigue, but feeling remarkably well to what I could be feeling. I'm reminded of that great line of Connie - "I am not depressed. I'm just bummed out." Isn't she an awesome kid? That's how I feel right now, which all considering isn't that bad a place to be.

Youtube is my radio

Thu, 28 May 2009 01:08:03 GMT

Anime North got me back into anime and I've been searching anime music on youtube like the wowzahs. I've also been reading Full Metal Alchemist and Bleach fanfic again, and may I say, smutty anime fanfic makes the world a better place XD It's great being back into anime.

Part of me is balking at the amount of anime I want to watch/catch up on O.o Man, go five or six years where you only watch one or two anime every other year and suddenly all these shows come out of nowhere. I still have to finish Trigun and watch more One Piece (I heart both those shows dearly.)

So yeah, listening to tons and tons and TONS of Japanese/anime music.

For a chance of pace, I put on some Chinese music and realized I seriously need to catch up on the Chinese music scene. I'm still stuck in 80's and 90's Cantopop. I've tried listening to some more recent mainland pop, and while I found some I really like, I have the same trouble with mainland pop that I have with current cantopop - I find a lot of them are either too annoying or too slow. (I keep thinking Kelly Chan's Eternal Happiness would be so much better if it was sung a bit faster. Still love the song and Kelly though.)

So if anyone who's more up-to-date than I am in Chinese music (yes, Funky_Squirrel, I'm looking at you) feel free to give me recommandations, especially for mainland pop. ESPECIALLY if they're as awesome as this song that Richie Ren ( I may have to forgive him for butchering all those Jin Yong adaptations after all) sings in the following youtube video, which YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST SONG EVER!*

Translated lyrics:

Girl From Across, Look Over Here
Girl from across, look over here
Look over here, look over here
The performance is very spectacular
Please don't pretend to ignore me

Girl from across, look over here
Look over here, look over here
Don't be frightened by my appearance
Really, I'm very cute!

Lonely boy's sadness
Say it aloud, who understands?
Please send over a charming glance
Humor me, flirt until my heart is estatic
(Hahaha, won't respond to me, ha)

Chorus:
I look up, look right, look up, look down
It seems that every girl is very complex
I think and think, guess and guess
Girl's thoughts are very strange!

Lonely boy's flyswatter
Swat swat left, swat swat right
How come I have no one to love me?
No one shows interest, how boring!

Girl from across, look over here
Look over here, look over here
Lonely boy's first dawning of love
I need you to give me some love

Chorus X 2

Lai lai lai lai lai lai lai lai... O Eh O!
Lai lai lai lai lai lai lai lai... Oooo!

(Sigh... forget it, let's go home)

*until, of course, I find the youtube video of "The Small Bird That Can't Fly High". It's out there somewhere